"Come at me bro"
"...why would i do that?"
"Come at me bro..."
"no thank you"
"Come at me bro... Come at me bro... Come at me bro... Hehehehehe... I love saying that"

Mind you, that last line of text was sent to me in five separate messages... very annoying.

"Coppin martinellis. So later we can be #poppinmartinellis"

"Really Americans? You created a holiday to celebrate your love of overconsumption & violence? Isn't that everyday?"
"but.... overconsumption and violence are your two favorite things. plus most americans don't even know about what the pilgrims did to native americans"
"Why would you think overconsumption is my favorite thing?"
"not necessarily overconsumption of food. so before you go accusing me of calling you fat [which she absolutely is], allow me to clarify. you like overconsumption of goods, i don't know your eating habits"
Wow dood no wonder why you don't have a gf. Geez hahahahah... Ok well I'm going back to work. Have a great day"
"i don't believe i said anything negative about you. you are a self-proclaimed capitalist. capitalism and consumerism go hand in hand. you can't get offended when i simply restate something you claim yourself"
"I'm not offended. Why would I be. My life is amazing and I'm blessed to be rolling in money. My money or family's money. All the same. I just said that now I understand why you might have problems getting a gf. That's all."
"well i don't think my relationship status has anything to do with what i said. at all"
"Ok scott"

i didn't bother replying. at this point my penis was literally in pain from having to endure her unabashed thoughtless banter

"I have a crush on a 21 year old! How embarrassing. Geez."
"yeah real embarrassing"
"I hate you"
"age doesn't matter"
"You just told me I should be embarrassed you jack fuck!"
"i was being sarcastic"
"Well I feel like a total creep"
"how is that creepy at all?"
"I'm 25 and he is 21. He is a baby! I wanna have sex with a baby! Wtf! That's creepy"
"that's 4 years younger than you. you're ridiculous"
"4 years in your 20s is like closer to 10 years duhhh"
"that's absurd"
"So your telling me that its completely ok for me a grown up to have sex with a 21 year old?"
"yes it is. you are both adults"

"In the company of wolves they all respect that I will eat first."
"what?"
"You heard me bitch I didn't fucking stutter."
"oh ok"
"Heheheh that's my favorite sentence."
"it would be"
"Less words, more physical violence."

"all seeing eye, my eyes seen it all, I talk a lot of shit, I swear I mean it all..... FREE ART"

"How do people work part time and survive?! I work full time and struggle, this is horseshit."
"stop buying tattoos. sell your car, buy a used one. eat cheap"
"Omg I rather die! Tatoos are like H2O. My car is baller. And I love whole foods omg why would you say something so mean"

"Been thinking I have la dolce vida, money hungry and fuck now cry later inked on me. So maybe its time to get ATM inked too"

"Honestly who uses condoms, that's some nerd shit."

"Make no mistake, ALL friends are fairweather friends..... Xed up"

"If one more faggot posts 'Be the change you want to see in the world' on their fb I'm going to mosh their face off! All I care about is violence and sxe. This hippy grap does not impress me."
"Really? That's all you care about?"
"And money... Yap"
"How capitalist of you"
"Shut the fuck up... Cash rules everything around me. Sorry that I don't wanna be a faggot ass broke pussy."

"All I want for xmas this year is gift cards from Absaloute tattoo!!!! So please hook a broke sister up!"
"I can't, I'm more broke than you"
"Shut up! You don't even know what broke is till you buy a 45 thousand dollar car playa"
"I do know what broke is because I could never afford a car that nice even if I saved up for 20 years"
"All my money goes to my car, bills and tattoos"
"Then don't get tattoos"
"Nope sorry that's like asking me to not poop after I eat! Not possible"
"Then don't complain about being broke"
"I hate you"

"I fucking hate getting tattooed this is the most bullshit lifestyle ever. Fuck."
"So don't get tattoos?"
"Fuck that. I love tats"

Welcome!

Hello! So I created this blog because I know somebody who sends me a lot of really dumb text messages and most of the time I don't even reply because they're so dense. I keep their number solely for entertainment purposes and I thought I'd share them with you. Enjoy!